How to Celebrate International Women's Day

It is International Women's Day today according to my Facebook and Twitter. Women, men and others alike are posting for International Women's Day and I'm noticing a trend. 

It's time to stop identifying Women as victims. I KNOW. I KNOW. It's a controversial thing for me to say, but here's my reasoning for this. 

If we stay in the "story" of Women being victims, we will forever be perpetuating the story that we ARE victims, worth less, outnumbered, put upon and not respected. It is TIME to move the story forward. We do that by saying, We know we are victims, we know this is happening, what are we going to do to change it? It's kind of like that friend who is always reminding you that they are woefully single but refusing to get on any dating websites, or say yes to anyone who has offered to set them up. Before you all get really, really mad at me, I want you to know I recognize that this is also an inflammatory statement. I want to talk about looking at this from an energetic and a spiritual place. Much like you would expect within The Secret and when you Manifest your world, what you talk about, post about, write about and put energy into, is going to manifest in your world. 

I propose that on this International Women's Day we celebrate with things that empower us, instead of holding us in the same "victim" place we have been in for, ahem, awhile. Here are 5 things you can do to celebrate International Women's Day!

1. Find a Woman that you would normally say snide things about, to, around, and deliver her an honest, open, compliment. You know that there is something that you like or even envy about her, because she insights some type of response in you! #LiftHerUp

2. Celebrate that we have 3 women on the Supreme Court of the United States fighting for Women's Rights and the Right to have an Abortion. Sure, we're still having to fight the battle, but recognize and KNOW the power that we have to fight at the highest level right now. #RoeVWade #WomenInPower #SCOTUSSquad 

The Women Take Over -In oral arguments for the Texas abortion case, the three female justices upend the Supreme Court’s balance of power.

3. Stand up for yourself and other women. Don't be afraid to speak out when you are being put into a horrible situation, belittled, brushed aside or hurt. There are women and men ready to pick you up and help you continue the fight forward! They are literally everywhere around you, but if all you can see are the Men and Women who are attacking and taking away our rights, you won't be able to see the hand that's offering you assistance up. If you see someone that needs a hand, extend it. Speak up.  #IveGotYourBack #IBelieveYou

4. SEE HOW FAR WE HAVE COME! There is a woman running for President of the United States. She is being taken VERY seriously as a candidate. She may or may not end up the Democratic Nominee, but she is a real contender, how do you know? Look at how many people are attacking her, speaking out against her, etc. If she weren't a real contender for the office we wouldn't even be talking about her. #FirstFemalePresident and if you're STILL bummed out, then watch Suffragette and then come tell me how far we haven't come. In an incredibly short amount of time. I know that it seems like a Million years, but 100 years ago Women started this battle and we've been gaining ground ever since. 


5. OWN YOUR POWER-- As a woman, we have so much power that we've been trained and taught to ignore. I've read and hear from many spiritually enlightened Men and Women, that if the whole of FemaleKind embraced and used their power, the Men would crumble. I don't mean that in a violent way, because Women rule, govern and lead with Compassion, Kindness, Strength and the Power that this world is so desperately hungry for these days. Go stand in front of a mirror, open your heart, look yourself in the eyes and repeat after me, "I AM WOMAN, hear me ROAR"  5 times. Do it with a "power pose" all the better! It sounds cheesy, but just try it and see how that feels. (there's a reason this is in the bigger font!)

BONUS #6!!! TURN OFF THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA! All they are doing is holding us in the same cycle of fear, disempowerment and the STORY. 


And as Carey Mulligan said in the final line of the trailer for Suffragette. "We will win." 

Happy International Women's Day! 

The Women's right to Vote in The United States happened in 1920!! That's not even 100 years ago! Imagine what they could have done with our resources back then? 

The Women's right to Vote in The United States happened in 1920!! That's not even 100 years ago! Imagine what they could have done with our resources back then? 

The Pleasure Project - OM

One of my "goals", "resolutions", "mantras" for the year 2016 is to find, feel and access Pleasure in my life. What does that mean? Lets start at the impetus.

It was first brought to my attention by a few wonderful healers I work with, Jamie Wollrab and Erin Schroeder, who rightly stated, you don't allow yourself to feel pleasure because you're afraid that if you acknowledge the "high" that the pleasure brings, you will have to acknowledge and feel the fall when the high dissipates. This resonated with me and I quickly realized that it colors all parts of my life. I'm an improviser and I've been doing it for 12 + years. I am good at it, but just the other night, hanging out at the bar at iO West, one of the teachers, veteran players and well regarded dudes there called me over, gave me a big hug and whispered in my ear, "You really did a great job at the auditions (for Harold teams), such solid work." I quickly said thank you and directed the conversation elsewhere. You'd think I would be thrilled with that comment, but sure enough, plain as day, I dismissed it and not only that, but then continued to stand in the bar, awkwardly with "no one" to talk to, because i didn't belong there, didn't know anyone, you name it, I was thinking it. I diffused and dissipated the weight of his comment, not celebrating it, taking it in or embracing it by making myself believe that I didn't belong there. 

Pleasure. In order to even understand or know how I could bring pleasure into my life I had to look up the definition. The definition(s) of pleasure are : gratification, delight, sensual gratification; worldly or frivolous enjoyment.

Gratification. Cool. Delight, I love delight, its one of the words I resonate with and have used when plotting and planning with the #DesireMap! Sensual Gratification . . . can you feel me start to fidget, to get nervous, shut down? Because, while Jamie meant that I don't allow pleasure into my life, he also was speaking directly to me not allowing sensual and sexual pleasure into my life.  

I was raised in a fairly conservative family that didn't really speak about sex, or pleasure, and we definitely never discussed deriving pleasure from sex!  I was raised Catholic. We went to church every Sunday, were altar boys and girls, readers and ushers at Mass, went to Sunday school and received the Holy Sacraments all the way up to confirmation. (Which is as far as you can go with them, until you get married and receive THAT Holy Sacrament.) I was active in the church choir and loved going to youth group. One Sunday evening, we all made a commitment to Jesus and signed a contract declaring that we wouldn't have sex before marriage. I'm 36 and have never been married and well, lets just say that I hope that that contract wouldn't stand  up in a court of law. 

I really enjoyed growing up in the Catholic church and believe it gave me a solid foundation to become the person I am today. I mention this because growing up in the church does not allow for sex to ever be considered something that one would derive pleasure from. 

SO . . . 

A few months ago, I was matched with a guy on Bumble and I noticed that we had a mutual friend. I used that when I said Hello to him, because for some reason, "Hey, we have a mutual friend" gets more response from men than a simple, "Hello." He responded, "Who?" I told him and he said, "Oh yeah, we OM together." To which I replied, "Eh?"

OM stands for Orgasmic Meditation. I looked it up. I was intrigued. I thought. . . hmmmm, I bet this would allow me to access pleasure. A few weeks later, I mentioned it to another friend and he replied, "Oh yeah, I have friends that do that and they say its amazing." I started reaching out to some friends that I thought would maybe be open to exploring what OM is. Here's the thing, I don't always  need someone to hold my hand but the practice of OM takes two people and putting myself in this vulnerable position with someone who was a total stranger just seemed like a no go for me. Also, I wanted someone to go to the "Turn ON" event with me just in case it was crazy and we needed to escape from a room full of psychos together. I knew i'd never get out alive if I went alone. 

First of all, there's not an easy way to say," Hey, do you think you'd be interested in stroking my clitoris for 15 minutes in a non-sexual way as I meditate?" So I led with, "Hey, have you ever heard of OM?" Which led to questions and me directing them to the website so that they could check it out for themselves. A few of them were responsive, one was doubtful, another ran for the hills. For weeks I've been saying that I'm going to go check out OM and go to a "Turn ON" event, but I've always found a reason or an excuse to not attend. Last night, I took the plunge. I attended a "Turn ON" event to figure out what this whole thing is about. First thing, good news, I didn't die AND I went alone. 

At these events, they play three Conversation games that are designed to mimic the experience you have during an OM session. It was actually quite brilliant the way that they tied everything together! I'm getting ahead of myself. As I walked up to the door I thought I had done a pretty great job convincing myself that this was something I could handle, I can do this, I've gone to places alone before. I knocked on the door, there were people inside milling about, I could see them walking by, chatting with one another. I knocked twice, no one seemed to notice, they just kept chatting, milling about. I almost turned around and left. I thought, well, maybe they can't hear me, I rang the bell. I heard someone actually say, "There's someone at the door" and then they just kept milling about. In reality, this whole exchange probably took 30 seconds, but it felt like a lifetime standing outside that door, wondering if these strangers were going to let me in. Let me in to the house, in to their world, their practice, into their souls. 

The door opened and as I awkwardly took off my shoes, Leah, who I had been in contact with a few times, stood there with a welcoming smile and made me feel at least a little wanted. I glanced around the room as they apologized for keeping me outside, they had just finished an OM circle and were getting ready to set up for the event. Now i knew why I was kept outside, but now I'm also thinking about all of these strangers engaging in an OM just minutes before. 

I'm hesitant to admit to you that I immediately began judging people and jumping to conclusions about them. I'm a fairly enlightened person who prides herself on having an open mind and heart, but with the idea of engaging in such an intimate act with these people really made me regress. I was approached almost immediately by a man. He jumped at the chance to meet me and I was aware that the other 3 or so veteran men in the room had seen me as well and looked a little jealous that this guy had beat them to the punch. Now, I don't know if its because of this practice that the men in this room are more in their bodies and have a bigger presence than most men I come in contact with or not, but there was a definite difference in their energy. As they approached me it was direct, open and a little overwhelming. I think it was also overwhelming because I felt a little like I was in danger. (I most definitely was not, but the apprehension definitely had me on high alert). 

As 15 or so adults settled into a semi-circle, facing our two hosts, I didn't really know what to expect. I had watched the videos online where they showed examples of the communication games we were about to play. Everyone was asked to be honest, say the first thing that comes to your head without editing, and to engage fully, allowing all sensations in your body to occur and be noticed. We were not allowed to clap after as it breaks the energy and mellows it out. We started the night with prompts from our hosts that asked us to finish as quick as we could. Prompts like I'm feeling . . . . and Three words that describe me are . . . 

I was floored by how honest and open everyone really was. One gentleman in particular I had leapt to judgement about pretty quickly, about how mean, harsh and threatening he looked and therefore, he probably was took me by complete surprise. When he was on the hot seat, he opened up about some traumatizing events in his life and how all he really wanted out of OM was to experience the softer side of sex and connection with others. As he spoke and opened up, he opened his heart and his appearance seemed to soften. By the time the night was over, he was my favorite person in the room. 

In fact, by the end of the night, most of my snap judgments and harsh criticisms of everyone in the room had been proven wrong. As everyone opened up with their honest answers the energy in the room shifted from one of high, anticipation, danger and uncertainty to one of openness, acceptance, love and comfort. The temperature of the room even seemed to have risen by a few degrees. 

I've yet to experience OM, but I DID sign up for their Intro to OM class with an optional lab at the end. OPTIONAL. I've got some phone calls to make to see if any of my friends want to join the class with me. . . or perhaps, at the end of the end, I'll feel comfortable enough to explore. Until then. . . The Pleasure Project continues. 



The Simplest Truth

Blog originally appeared at

I've noticed a reoccurring theme popping up in readings and conversations with friends lately. My specialty with my Clairvoyant readings seems to be relationships, specifically romantic ones, most likely because I LOVE LOVE and all things that have to do with love.


During a reading the other day my client, lets call her Not Her Real Name Cathy, asked me to look at the state of her current relationship. She's been "seeing" a guy for about 6 weeks now and the last time we did a reading together, she was pretty over the moon about him. I'll say Not Her Real Name Cathy has made leaps and bounds since our first reading together. She made so many leaps and bounds that by the time we did her second reading, roughly 2 months later, she needed another reading because she was in overwhelm, having successfully brought in a new relationship, new side gig and some acting work! I was amazed with how quickly she and I had been able to manifest everything she wanted. We started her 3rd reading, a quickie, only 30 minutes, to look at the current state of her relationship. They had been seeing one another for about 6 weeks, with neither of them pushing to "label" it or set any boundaries and Not Her Real Name Cathy had reached her limit with this arrangement.

When I called up a picture of Not Her Real Name Cathy and her gentleman caller it looked to me like he was still present with her, still standing as close as the last time I looked and his energy was present and flowing towards her. The image quickly shifted from a different point of view and from that perspective, her perspective, he appeared to be further away from him. I listened to her explain why she was worried and how he felt like he was distant, that she wanted to ask for more in the relationship, but didn't feel like he was ready to have "the talk" or if he could handle it.

The message that came through loud and clear, that I've repeated to at least 3 other friends since then was this, "Let HIM participate in the relationship." NHRNC had spent so much energy and time trying to figure out what he wanted, what he was capable of and ready for but so far all she was doing about it was guessing. Spirit wanted her to let him have a chance to be a part of the relationship by actually allowing him to participate in it. I encouraged her to ask for what she needed in the relationship by actually verbalizing and making her needs known and to give him a chance to respond with what he needs and whether or not he felt like he could meet them for her.  Don't guess. Don't assume. Don't know because one time he said this thing on Facebook about being eternally single #blessed. Give him the chance to decide.

This year, 2016, is the year that we all choose to let one another participate. Let's share how we feel when we feel scared, or ask for a hug when we need one. Stop trying to connect with someone, understand them and know them through technology or social media. We've all spent so much time FB stalking, Googling and Tweeting at people in order to understand them, connect with them, and know them, we forget that we could simply ask them how they feel, what they love, who they are.







We challenge you to have open, honest conversations, in person, allowing them to participate fully in the relationship that the two of you have built together. Otherwise, why even be in a relationship with someone else? We're guessing that 9 times out of 10 their answer will surprise you and fulfill your needs at the same time.

It feels like we are craving this kind of honest, open connection. If you haven't checked out The AND, its thrilling and exciting and just true, honest, connection. Or if you want a little help having  an open. honest conversation where you actually learn something about your partner, check out 36 Questions that Lead to Love.

Happy Connecting.